When I was growing up I had two grandmothers. One was a sweet loving dependent type, who relied on her husband for everything as she was a stay-at-home wife and mother.
The other one fought in WW2 alongside men (this was 1940’s! Women simply didn’t do things like that at that time), was of high rank, respected party adviser and very independent.
She found it hard to ask for help, ever. I didn’t know that at the time. I just found her to be admirable.
So, as we all do, I subconsciously decided to model myself on her.
Most of us tend to model ourselves upon those people in our lives who appear to be strong and command a healthy level of our admiration.
Some of us decide to model ourselves upon other people, those that seemingly got most loving from actually being dependant and seemingly more vulnerable – but overall, majority of us tends to go for the former, strong type modelling.
Something to do with our survival instincts, true, but also due to the way our society has modelled for us over the past 50-70 years.
My being strong, and often quite heroic in fact, served me quite well for a number of decades.
Albeit, there was a slight fault in that identity default – I was unable to ask for help, due to my identifying with the trait of being exclusively self-sustaining, independent, and self-reliant.
It took me a while to start to notice this flaw. In fact I was in my mid-30’s when I realised that I was deeply uncomfortable with feeling the need to get someone onboard to help me.
And strangely – that made things even worse. I’d switch into feeling too proud to admit to myself, let alone anyone else, that I couldn’t or didn’t know how to do it by myself.
I had all that knowledge, experience, diplomas, wisdom… surely I should have been able to figure it all by myself.
But I wasn’t. Years passed. And I was still in that place of know-it-all but actually struggling and suffering. Needlessly.
One day, almost 10 years later, seeing my slow personal progress in a very real way, I woke up to the reality of my self-imposed impediment – that identity that I so dearly clung on for most of my life was going to be my unmaking!
So the same night I wrote a letter to my coach-to-be, booked a time to speak to her in the following days, then closed a laptop and cried like a baby.
It was a very scary, elating and exhilarating experience all at the same time.
It felt like I’ve been thrown into a huge rinse cycle, and washed out all the old grief, and fear, and worry – and yes there was this new fear of what lay ahead, but it was exciting at the same time – I knew that another completely different way of being lay before me and there was now no going back!
I had to re-direct all my strength and heroism that I was so good at, into another way – and use them to navigate this new era before me.
Change is scary. But it offers new opportunities. And those new opportunities, when connected with our deepest desire, our soul’s longing, is what makes our life turn into our dream.
Our Dream Life happens only when we decide to take Action. And to take the right action, we need Guidance. Trust me, if we don’t take guidance, our progress at best will be stalled, or at worse never actually happen.
Relinquishing my ideas about myself actually empowered me to become more myself. To step into deeper integrity with who I am. To learn to live intentionally and to savour each and every moment in the way one savours a delicious meal or most elaborate symphony.
Your Life should be like a piece of Art.
Not some botched, unfinished attempt that we secretly and quietly grieve over.
Your choice is NOW.
This is Your Time.
Step into your power.
Make your dreams come true.
Book the session with me and let’s talk about how I can help you.